International Men’s Day, by a Feminist.

Caught your attention there, didn’t I? 

So after a long hiatus, I decided to blog on a topic that sounds like I am about to rebel - right? 

WRONG. 

What were you expecting anyways - for me to take a stab on hate-tweets? 

If that’s what you thought - we’ll keep the battle for another day - for the umpteenth time, I will once again explain what feminism is - just not today. 

I came across some videos today of some lost-feminazis who questioned the rationality of this day -in fact, they felt it was just a day created to stop men from questioning the need for International Women’s Day.

What are we, five?

You are not a feminist if you don’t believe in equality. PERIOD. 

The objectives of both days are essentially the same - UNDERSTAND THAT.  

Both these days focus on health, improving gender relations, promoting gender equality and highlighting positive role models, allowing each gender to respectively celebrate their achievements and contributions to their families and communities while highlighting discrimination against them.

Stop feeling patronised over this - it is disgusting. 

What makes some of you think, this day is not even necessary? Do you think men don’t face discrimination? - stop feeling superior. 

I am not talking about specifics like gays, coloured men or poor, uneducated men or even short men. Or, come to think of it, the many judged "typical boys" every day, but just men? All men.

A few things we forget about men - their struggles. The stigma, forcing them to be all strong, macho - till it is even ‘wrong’ for them to cry - because ‘boys don't cry, right?

Wrong dude, that is discrimination. 

No one can deny the reality that men are not just the gender in power and capacity - they are also the dominating and practical one. 

But what makes everyone feel they got to hold it together all the damn time? Even during funerals - how often do you see men get emotional in front of people? 

International Men’s Day was introduced in 1992 on 7 February by Thomas Oaster and it was revived by Jerome Teelucksing who chose 19 November (his father's birthday) to raise awareness about men and mental health. 

This is one out of 365 days to put damn precedence aside and look into the important aspects of their life such as social, emotional, physical and spiritual.

Their whole life has been about keeping it together - give them a break for 24 hours at least!

Societal expectations and traditional gender roles play a significant part in why men are less likely to discuss or seek help, especially when it comes to mental and emotional health. 

We must understand that men can be damaged by stereotypes and expectations too.

It is obvious that the pandemic and lockdown has exacerbated everyone's physical, mental and emotional experiences - there has been an increase in everything - but stability,  leaving a lot of people in a toxic cycle that resulted to domestic abuse/discrimination/unemployment etc. 

The majority of domestic violence stories covered by the media are about male perpetrators and female victims. Yes, most of the time this is the scenario - but what about the good guys? 

While it occurs far less often than men battering women, women sometimes batter their male partners. 

 

A popular example: Johnny Depp - dude was abused terribly by his ex-wife Amber Heard - but he became ‘the wife-beater’ and practically lost most of his upcoming projects. 

We have to understand that men also suffer the second indignity and victimization of many people — including the police — not believing them. Or believing that they couldn’t “fight back” in some way (because they are, after all, men). 

And sometimes, it is an embarrassing revelation for them, and one that many men never make, preferring to live in silence as a victim. Bear in mind, abuse can be in any form - and that could be invincible to many. 

And some face discrimination - could be anything - not getting a place to rent (because of colour), jobs..a decent relationship perhaps? 

Whilst International Women’s Day will continue to win the spotlight (because women are emotional and we would be there enjoying G&T on a promotion) over International Men’s Day (practical folks, cheering to beers during regular happy hour) - you can be one of those to tell the men in your life about how much you appreciate them and their hard work. 

Start by holding yourself from using terms like ‘BOYS/MEN DON’T CRY’ or ‘BOYS GOTTA BE STRONG’ 

STOP IT - I refrain myself from using such terms even with Arlo (Arlo is my dachshund btw, and he is adorable) 

Boys got to feel NORMAL. Have a normal life, normal feelings, normal relationships, normal day, normal everything. 

Stop putting them on a pedestal based on stupid societal assumptions and making them feel like the whole world is on them. 

STOP being ‘MUNDANE’! 

Anyways... 

I am not doing this for some brownie points, heck I am not even standing for the elections to win votes. I am sharing my thoughts, hoping that someday, we could all treat each other equally. 

STOP BEING BITTER.

But I also can’t control how you feel about me, 

So...

love,

Venoshia.