I am tired of apologising to myself for not being consistent - here.
But again, I refuse to be hard on myself, again because my writer’s block has its timeline.
Also, again - I only write what/when I feel something extremely deep - which happens almost everyday - but scattered. So it takes time for me to put the pieces together and come up with an original. So now you know why I left my job as a copywriter.
But today is the day - things came together. For this piece at least.
Because I finally decided to 'go with the flow' and getting used to life like that.
I am a planner - that’s probably how I landed in PR. Planning is an essential skill in PR - but took me a while to understand that it is almost impossible to PLAN your life.
Unless you have a text book or a manual for reference. If you have one, good for you, because I don't.
I was raised in a system programmed to follow the manual - but at 33, I realised there is no MANUAL - actually no one has one. We are not machines.
Self discovery was inspiring back then, self awareness was hard to grasp - I read so much about people like Oprah, Hitler, Gandhi, and writers/people gave them a portrayal that the world had to see - and eventually making them an example for every scenario in life.
We had examples growing up - and eventually got inspired - which is not a bad thing.
But these examples just grew into us - and we forgot to live the life we are supposed to live and be the people we are meant to be.
So, with all these examples - I was trying to work on a 'manual' that was presented to me.
Especially around my dad loves to quote after Gandhi - so I assumed Gandhi was GREAT - he wasn’t really, was he?
Remember how we used to stick out our ears close to the radio speakers, while we try to tune into our favourite radio channel? I was trying to tune my life, to become one of these 'examples'.
It was draining. I panicked every year on my birthday. I panicked every time something did not go as planned.
It’s good to be inspired by someone or something - but we become so codependent and defensive that we forget to be present in any situation.
We run back to references, seek validation and survive on external confirmation.
I am still guilty of all these - but here’s where I am learning how to get into the flow of life.
I have been called a ‘Hippie’ for sharing these thoughts.
But I reminded them to identify me as the ‘HAPPY HIPPIE’
Coz, most of the things I do these days - gives me real emotions.
So, I have tuned in... Right?
Best,
#thehappyhippie
