Girls by Birth, Women by Worth

I am 30 and #IworkinPR. This was and is the dream. 

Everybody wanted me to be a doctor, and then based on my grades in all the science subjects – some decided that I should be a teacher. When that idea came about, my fantastic guy friends suggested that I should be an English teacher in an all boys school cause life would be more exciting.

 Adolescence...

Anyways, turning 30 has brought a lot of changes to the system – Friday nights in flights back to KL has been all about digesting the alterations in the body, mind and soul.

Things are changing drastically, I must warn you, brace yourselves.

Yesterday, I came across this video on Facebook that had this exercise of

‘How mean we are to ourselves?’ Have you wondered?

A few scenarios...

How many times have you gotten someone to take a picture of you and then when you run over excitedly to the see how the photo turned up and then next you say is

"Eiewww i look fat, another one please".

You walk into your favourite store, pick this really cute top – run over to the changing room to try it on – and go "Eieww I look bad"

I am guilty of no 1, 2 and 10,000 more.

But here’s the thing. Exactly why did I do this to myself again? Was it me ?

That’s me in 1989, on my first birthday. My favourite word was ‘WHY’, because I was curious about almost everything – even 29 years later – nothing has changed. 

What would I tell this little girl?

She’s pretty cute isn’t she – wearing this cute little dress and shoes her mom picked, singing herself a birthday song, heck she is even seen here cheering for herself - Good for her!

She only had her two front teeth and yet loved the entire world around her.

What happened – well the society tried drowning her, of course.

My take on this..

I would carry this girl and tell her a little story about the society and their knick- knacks that won’t mean an ounce to her personality or to the woman she is going to grow into.

Society will talk about your grades in school and compare you with the A Star schoolmates, and even tell you about how your life is about to go down because of your Bs and Cs – little did they know about Venoshia - the daughter, the sister, the friend, the colleague and in time (god willing) – the partner, the mother...

Society will try to talk you into doing things that are not 'you', be brave, listen to your heart and then speak to your parents

Society and your relatives are going to see you build your life from afar – based on nothing they patronized, speculated and mortified.

Society will not have a clue about your career – they would ask you if you are a secretary, an administrator, a Personal assistant...Be dangerous – smile at them instead.

The society will first judge for having so many guys as good friends when you were younger – and then judge you for not being attached to someone later on.

Society will hate you for your views on feminism, religion, culture, logic and humanity. Basically, everything that made them 'normal' - will leave them clueless to all of your WH questions.

Society will brand you a rebel for being bold and having mind of your own. Last I heard, well behaved women rarely made history.

I’d ask this little girl to not surrender to societal 'values' and 'rules', because she will persist nevertheless, against all odds, struggles and backlashes.

I’d tell her this till her 29th birthday if I could, and I can bet that she is only going to be fascinated with the cake and nothing else – or maybe she’d be asking me ‘why’ for almost every damn thing said. And think about it a few weeks later or so.

I was redundant wasn’t I? – repeating the word ‘society’ like it was a mantra. Would have annoyed you a little, but isn't that the case? – how every little girl's doing is 'cultivated' by the society?

So STOP it. Stop letting them dictate.

Stop tip-toeing, take a stroll on everything that inspires you – life will give one chance for everything and even if you are about to breathe for the very last time – let that be after you did something for yourself.

Because eventually, the society will be there to pay their last ‘respect’.

Happy International Women’s Day!
Remember,
Girls by birth, women by worth.

Oh, and do me a favour will you? - Look for a picture of your one- year- old self – what would you tell him or her to do?

Love, V